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Category Archives: Beauty Treatments
Slendertone Face: the non-surgical facelift – first impressions
You know what sucks? The ageing process. Well, it does, doesn’t it? Personally, I intend to age disgracefully. There will be no grey hair and “embracing the wrinkles” for me: instead I intend to take every bit of help I can get to rage against the dying of the light – or everything within reason.
For me, the biggest problem with ageing isn’t fine lines or wrinkles: it’s that general sagging and loss of muscle tone that hits us as we get older, and which is much more ageing than wrinkles. This is what the Slendertone Face is designed to help combat: it’s billed as a non-surgical facelift, and as you can see from the image above, it takes the form of a headset with gel pads, which you wear on your face for up to twenty minutes per day, while electronic pulses are delivered through the pads, exercising the facial muscles and helping tone and “retrain” them. Used consistently, it’s designed to help the face recover its natural tone, without the need for surgery or other cosmetic solutions.
All of this sounds pretty compelling to me, so when Slendertone offered to send me one of the headsets to try out, naturally I jumped at the chance. The important thing to remember here is that it takes roughly 12 weeks of consistent use (They recommend five sessions per week for 12 weeks, after which you go into “maintenance mode” which involves a couple of sessions per week) to see results, so this isn’t a review, but simply my initial impression of what it’s like to use the unit, following my first week of use. I’m doing my best to use it every day, and will report back at the end of the 12 weeks, although in my case it’ll probably take a little longer as I’ll be on holiday for three weeks of that time.
So, what’s Slendertone Face actually like to use?
Wellbox – gets rid of wrinkles and cellulite, costs £1000. Gulp.
Harrods describe this product as "the fountain of youth". Dollface says, "for that price, it bloody better be".
"That" price is the £1000 mentioned in the headline. Yes, it’s a lot, isn’t it? And what do you get for your one thousand British pounds? Well, it’s a piece of equipment that looks a little bit like a shower head, and from what I can tell, it seems to be a sophisticated kind of massager.
Harrods say: "From the very first session, powerful Tissular Rolling penetrates each layer of skin, reducing cellulite significantly, while Tissular Lifting gently exercises the skin of the face to rejuvenate its natural framework, producing a replenished, radiant complexion."
Uh-huh.
Now, I’m always deeply sceptical about this kind of costs-more-than-my-mortgage equipment. I just tend to think that if it really was the "fountain of youth" it claims to be, then everyone would have one, regardless of cost, and then there would be no old people in the world, ever. But of course, that would never happen, so if you’re willing to part with £1000 to see if this works, you can buy one from Harrods. And seriously, if it gives you legs like the model in the picture*, I’ll buy one as well….
* It doesn’t, though
Rodial ‘Boob Job’ claims to increase cup size by 8.4%
I must, I must, increase my bust! Well, actually, I don’t really – I’m quite happy to remain small and rather imperfectly formed, but if I did want to increase my bust, I’d definitely be choosing Rodials’ ‘Boob Job’ (Yes, that really is its name!) as opposed to the much more expensive, and much more painful, surgical option.
Here’s the science bit, in the words of Rodial themselves:
"Boob job works with your natural fat cells. As the fat cells move around the body after eating, boob job “blocks” the fat into the area where the product has been applied, to the bust and décolleté areas." This will apparently lead to bigger boobs within 56 days, as well as a lifting and firming effect, which I don’t think any of us would want to say "no" to.
Boob Job launched just last week, and is available from Harvey Nichols or online, for £125 for 100ml. Expensive, yes, but this is a "boob job" we’re talking about…
Buy: Rodial Boob Job, £125
Bad Beauty: Lash wigs
When I posted a picture of those Shu Umera lashes for our How to Wear False Eyelashes feature a couple of days ago, I assumed the lashes in question had been created for the catwalk, or for photographic use only. But no – it’s much more frightening that that. These are actually lash wigs, and you can apparently get them fitted by visiting a – wait for it – Lash Wig Bar, in Japan. The hell?
The lashes cost between £6 – £25 , and I guess the big question here is, why would you want to pay anything to make yourself look like a couple of furry animals landed on your lashes?
