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Category Archives: Fake Tan
Pale and Proud: Why I won’t be getting a sun tan, no matter how much it annoys people
“You don’t have much of a tan!”
“Bit pale, aren’t you?”
I’ve lost count of the number of times this kind of thing has been said to me over the years. Every time I go on holiday, I return to a barrage of tongue-clicking comments about the continued pallor of my complexion, and my absolute failure to do the “normal” thing and get a suntan.
Make no mistake, it is a failure as far as some people are concerned. I’m sure they would argue otherwise, but the comments are always uttered in a critical, disparaging tone, and I am left in no doubt whatsoever that I am deemed to have failed. (I’m also left with the clear message that the person I’m talking to thinks I’m lying when I say I enjoyed my holiday. “Well, you don’t have much of a tan,” they’ll counter, the unspoken part of that sentence being “so it can’t have been that good, can it?”) I should have gotten a suntan, is the message. I shouldn’t have worn sunblock. “Oh, I never wear sunscreen,” my detractor will always say smuggly, before turning away, secure in the knowledge that they’re much cleverer than me (and have much better holidays into the bargain).
It’s not just me, either. Both Mr Dollface and my mother have been subjected to the “why don’t you have a tan?” comments this year, and they both have Mediterranean complexions. On The Fashion Police last week, someone commented on a photo of Kristen Stewart saying, “She needs to get a tan”. Er, no. No she doesn’t. If she wants to get one, of course, that’s completely up to her, but she shouldn’t be made to feel like she HAS to have one just to conform to society’s current beauty ideal, which says that suntans = good and pale skin = bad.
People like my husband, of course, have an excuse for their “errant” behaviour: kidney transplant patients have a much higher risk of skin cancer, so for him, getting a suntan would be total madness, although that doesn’t stop people asking him why he isn’t browner. I, however, have no such excuse, and the fact that I’m a pale-skinned Scottish redhead just doesn’t cut it: I should be doing my best to change my skin colour, apparently, and if I don’t, people will continue to tut-tut at me in despair.
Well, let ‘em. Because here’s the thing: I don’t tan. Ever. And I’m not about to start. I would no more lie out in the sun without total sunblock than I’d set myself on fire. Both would be crazy for me. Contrary to what appears to be the popular belief, a suntan is NOT healthy. Certainly not for me, anyway, and I was raised to protect my skin, to avoid getting burnt, and to accept that I will never be a “golden” girl. I’m good with that. And let me be clear: I am obviously not above using self-tanner if and when I feel like it, as readers of this blog are well aware. Absolutely not. I like my pale skin, but I also like my not-quite-as-pale skin (which is the most I get from self-tanners. Even with a freshly-applied tan, people will still ask me why I’m so pale), so I will hit the bottle from time to time, sure. I’m not a slave to it, though, and I’m also not above just saying “to hell with it”, and flaunting my pale skin.
I’m not ashamed of being pale. I don’t see why I should be. It’s my natural colour, it’s the way my skin is supposed to look, and there should be nothing wrong with that. In fact there is nothing wrong with that, except in the minds of a few people who seem to believe that pale isn’t interesting, and that the only purpose of a vacation is to get a suntan.
This is why I’ve decided to cut back on the fake tan and embrace my lily white skin from now on: or for the time being, at least. I’m not giving up the bottle completely: I still have a few tanning/bronzing products to review, and I can’t promise there won’t be times when I’ll decide to turn my legs a patchy shade of brown. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with using fake tan, after all, but I do think there’s something wrong with trying to make people feel bad for being pale, and so I’m going to be pale and proud. For a few weeks, at least.
I’m wearing self-tanner in this photo. Yeah, I’m pale.
Dollface Reviews: Ambre Solaire No Streaks Bronzer
Did I ever tell you about the time I decided to go to one of those spray tanning booths?
Long story short: the woman who ran the place took one look at me and refused to let me anywhere near that spray booth. OK, I exaggerate. She didn’t refuse to let me do it, but she did sit me down and strongly urge me against it, explaining that the tanning lotion would spray on very quickly, and dry in even quicker, and that if I didn’t use those precious few seconds to make sure it was distributed evenly over my entire body, I would wake up the next morning to a fake tan disaster of epic proportions.
“And on skin as pale as yours,” she concluded, “any little mistake is going to be really, really obvious.”
I took the wise woman’s advice. I beat a hasty retreat from the spray tan booth, drove to Asda (which was the only place open at the time: we were flying to Greece early next morning, so time was of the essence), bough a cheap bottle of fake tan, the brand of which I have long since forgotten, applied it meticulously… and woke up the next morning to a fake tan disaster of epic proportions. That’s actually another story for another time, though, so back to the spray tan…
For years, then, I thought no more about spray-on tanning lotions, preferring to stick to their creamier brothers and sisters. Then a few weeks ago I was in the supermarket, I saw Ambre Solaire’s No Streaks Bronzer, and thought “What the hell! It says NO STREAKS. How bad can it be?”
Well, on Sunday morning I decided to find out. Following the instructions on the bottle, I sprayed it evenly across my skin, holding the bottle about 40cm away from my body. Ah, who am I kidding? I have no idea how far I was holding it from my body. Do people actually measure these things? It seemed like a reasonable distance anyway, and I also, remembering the sage words of advice from my spray-tan booth friend, ignored the “no need to rub it in!” bit and smoothed it over my legs and arms a bit too, just to make sure it was even.
I was really impressed. As much as I appreciate the cream tanners I’ve always used, they annoy the life out of me sometimes. I mean, who has time to spend ages rubbing them in, then even more time walking around (in loose, dark clothes only), feeling uncomfortably sticky, smelling like biscuits and wondering if the fake-tan will rub off on your sheets that night?
This one has none of those issues. It takes seconds to spray it on, a few more seconds for it to dry in, and you’re good to go: you can completely forget about it and go about your business as usual, which is exactly what I did. (It does have that unfortunate “fake tan” scent, though, I’m afraid.)
And then, the next morning?
I woke up to a fake tan disaster of… OK, of not quite epic proportions, but it wasn’t good. And first of all, let me just say:
THERE WERE NO STREAKS.
It was as good as its word in that respect. There were, however, patches. Yes, patches. Glaring bits of lily-white skin, which I’d obviously missed with my spraying and rubbing, and which were now gleaming out from amongst the (rather nice) summer glow I had going on everywhere else.
D’oh.
What do you think I chose to do about this situation, readers?
Yeah, you’re right: I sprayed on some more. Yes, I did. I know it sounds crazy, but it’s the one thing I swear by when it comes to patchy fake tan, and luckily for me, it worked pretty well: today the tan is looking much more even, and while the patchiness is still detectable if you look very closely, I think another layer would probably get rid of it completely. Not that I’m going to be trying that, mind you: I’m out of the spray tan business for the foreseeable future, but if you want to give this one a go, I’d say just be very, very careful when you’re spraying it on, and make sure the coverage is even. It does have its advantages, but it’s perhaps not quite as easy to use as I’d assumed.
It’s £7.33 and available from Boots.
Soap & Glory Glow Getter Sun Powder Spray
Over the last few months, my inherent laziness has made me a big fan of fake tan makeup, which is just a much easier alternative to applying tanner every day and waiting for it to develop. So why is this one any different from all the others I’ve tried? Well, this is Soap & Glory’s ‘Glow Getter’, and it’s a powder formula in a spray can, which claims to deliver an airbrush finish, with no streaks and much less tedious rubbing and blending than you’d through with a cream formula (although it’s worth noting that once you’ve sprayed it on, you do have to blend it in a little with your fingers).
Currently down to £6.67 at Boots, from the original £10, I guess now is as good a time as any to try it out…
Dollface Reviews: Lee Stafford Fake My Tan Magic Potion Tanning Lotion
The gorgeous, hot weather we’ve been having this week snuck up on me unexpectedly, catching me at a time when I’d let my last application of fake tan fade, and hadn’t gotten around to applying another one. My dazzlingly white skin just wasn’t the right accessory for the various skirts and summer dresses I like to wear when the weather’s sunny, so this weekend I decided to try out Lee Stafford’s Fake My Tan, which has been sitting in a drawer ever since it was sent to me, with the weather not nearly warm enough to justify using it.
This is a fake tan makeup rather than an actual tanner, so it’s perfect for those in-between times when you want bronzed skin in a hurry, and don’t have time to sit around waiting for a regular tan to develop. Applied in the same way you’d apply foundation, it can be used on either the face or the body, and washes off when you’re done with it.
So, what’s it like to use?
The first thing I noticed was that this has a fairly strong smell, although luckily it’s a very pleasant one. I was sent the ‘Light to Medium’ formula, and although it comes out of the tube looking very dark indeed, it goes on a nice, light caramel colour, which you can build up to the colour you require. I found I needed a couple of applications on my legs to make a difference, and would probably have needed another couple if I’d been going for a real sun-kissed look. If I was going to use this again, I’d probably buy the “dark” version, but if it’s a subtle effect you’re looking for, this would be perfect, and as I say, it does layer up.
The consistency is just right – not too creamy, not too runny, although it does take a bit of rubbing in to make sure you don’t end up with streaks: it’s not a product you can just slap on the way you would a body lotion or similar, and you do have to pay attention to what you’re doing, and ideally apply it in front of a mirror, to make sure it’s even.
Once on, however, I found the colour very natural, giving me just the right amount of colour to get rid off the glare. I did discover some residue on my sofa this morning, however, where I’d been sitting with my bare legs tucked under me last night – luckily the sofa is leather, so it just wiped right off! It didn’t come off onto my clothes or towels, though, so that could’ve just been the effects of a hot day!
Overall, I liked this, and think it’s a really handy product to have for those days when the sunshine takes you by surprise – I’d imagine it might also come in useful for covering up those fake tan disasters we all (And by “we all”, I mean “me”) have from time to time!
It’s £8.99 and you can buy it at Boots.
Philosophy ‘The Big Skinny’ self-tanning firming cream
If you’re anything like as pale as me, and therefore prone to using the odd bit of fake tan in order to avoid frightening small children, you’re probably well aware that the condition of the skin you slap the product onto has a huge effect on the outcome of your self-tanning adventures. Put simply, if you want to achieve a smooth, even tan, you’re going to want to first of all make sure you have smooth, even skin. Firm. Supple. You know the drill.
If you’re anything like as LAZY as me, however, you’ll ALSO know that the thought of using an exfoliator AND a body lotion AND a fake tan… meh. Who has time for all of that? Not me, which is why I find myself looking patchy a lot of the time looking with interest at Philosophy’s ‘The Big Skinny’. Rather than being a self-tanner with moisturiser in it, this is a moisturiser with self-tanner in it (yes, there is a difference) and its aim is to make your skin feel firmer and smoother, as well and giving it that sunkissed glow. It’s a hard-worker, this one.
The self-tanner is of the gradual kind, so you won’t wake up looking like you fell asleep on the beach, and if you DO have time for all those extra steps, there’s also an exfoliator which you can use first. Well, YOU can. I probably won’t bother, because I’m stupid like that.
This is $28 and you can grab it at Nordstrom.
Dollface Reviews: Kona Tanning Company Gradual Tanner
I was actually sent this product some time ago, but the long, hard winter has meant that my legs haven’t been seen without trousers or tights for months now, which means I haven’t had a chance to use it. This weekend, however, Spring finally sprung, and I decided to have a go at taking some of the glare off my legs before I risk blinding people with their pallor, so I dug out the bottle and prepared to turn tan.
The first thing to note about this product is that it smells fantastic – like chocolate, in fact, which is far, far preferable to the usual fake tan smell we’re all familiar with. It actually left my bathroom lightly scented for a short while after I used it, too, and Mr Dollface commented on how nice it smelt, which is further testament to the pleasant scent!
The other thing I like about this is the fact that it goes on brown, rather than being colourless, like many of the other gradual tanners I’ve tried. This makes it so much easier to apply, because you can see exactly where it’s going, and make sure there are no streaks or white bits before it even starts to dry, thus making it much more likely that you’ll get a streak-free finish, which is exactly what I ended up with, much to my joy!
As this is a gradual tanner, I didn’t notice a huge difference with the first application, but the second was enough to leave me with a natural looking “tan”, which isn’t too dark, and isn’t at all streaky. The slight downside is that the product did stain my bath towels a little (the marks came out as soon as I washed them, though), and as it goes on brown, I had to leave it a little longer to dry before getting dressed, for fear of tanning my clothes as well as my skin. The only other downsides for me are the price ($35), and the fact that the website is US based, although it does ship internationally.
To find out more, visit the Kona Tanning website here.
Asda Essential Care Self Tan now back in stock!
Asda fake tan - yay!
I know it’s not really the season for a sun tan, but today, readers, I bring you glad tidings: having discontinued their Essential Care Self Tan back in the summer, Asda have decided to bring it back! I actually had a comment from a reader letting me know about this a couple of weeks ago, and I have to say, I didn’t dare hope it was true, but here’s the evidence, as seen in my local Asda yesterday.
(Aside: you’d be surprised at the number of funny looks you get from people when you take a photo of fake tan on your phone in the supermarket. Or maybe you wouldn’t be, actually).
The queues were all about a mile long, so I didn’t buy any, but I’m off on holiday in three weeks, so rest assured, I will be back to stock up! As you can see, this is only £3 per bottle, and I find it better than any of the more expensive brands I’ve tried, so Asda: thank you. You’ve made this Dollface very happy!
Bikini Kitchen Booty Butter tanning lotion
I love a product with a bit of personality to it, and this one definitely has that! It’s Bikini Kitchen’s “Booty Butter” and it’s a recipe for “perfectly brown buns”. Or a tanning lotion, in other words.
This is no ordinary tanning lotion, though: the formula is completely natural, and contains lots of good stuff, like aloe, Hawaiian kukui nut oil – a Hawaiian secret for glowing skin, light mineral oil and Kona coffee extract, to make your skin feel soft and supple, as well as giving it a sun kissed glow.
As for the glow itself, it develops in under an hour, so will come in handy for those times when you realise you’re going to need to get your legs out, but don’t want to blind people with their paleness, and the company say it’s suitable for even the very palest of skins.
It costs $27.95 for a full-sized bottle, but if you’d rather try it out before committing to shelling out (and let’s face it, who wouldn’t?) you can also buy a sample size for just $2.95.
Tantastic Gift Pack: instant tan, no weird smell
I'm starting to think wash on/wash off tans are the way to go. Already this summer I'm starting to get sick of diligently applying my self tan, only to be faced with days and days of rain, when I have to remain covered from head to toe. Or, conversely, giving up on the whole thing and returning to my natural pale blue, and then waking up to glorious sunshine.
Yes, when your climate is as unsettled as ours is, it can be a good idea just to work on a day-by-day basis, so this gift pack from Tantastic could be just the thing. Their instant tan develops in five minutes and promises a non-streaky finish. If you just want to do your legs, meanwhile, the leg gel will see you good. This pack also contains a self-tan mitt, so you don't have to worry about getting the stuff on your hands and under your nails, too. It's on the expensive side, but you can also buy each product individually if you prefer, from ASOS.com.
BUY: Tantastic Gift Set, £34
Dollface Reviews: Asda Essential Care Self Tan Lotion
Remember last week, when I tried out Asda's gradual self-tan moisturiser, and wasn't really impressed with it?
You'd think I'd have learned an important lesson about budget tanning products from that, but obviously you would think wrong, because I NEVER learn, and so this week I went back and bought their Fake Tan Lotion.
And actually? I'm really glad I did, because as self-tanning products go, this is a good 'un. No, seriously.
Like the gradual tanner, this is only about £2.50 per bottle. Unlike the gradual tanner, it's a "proper" fake tan, that develops fully in just a few hours and then stays on for days. Also unlike the gradual tanner, it actually develops into a really nice colour: not too dark, but dark enough to create the illusion of a natural tan. Result!
Another thing I really liked about this was the fact that it dries quickly, so although they recommend wearing dark, loose clothing afterwards, you don't really need to worry about walking around naked, terrified to get fake tan on your clothes, towels etc. I didn't wear dark clothing afterwards (Because I am stupid. Always follow the instructions, kids!) but it didn't rub off on anything, and I didn't feel uncomfortable sticky either, which is something I absolutely HATE about the whole fake tanning process.
Oh, and it doesn't smell either, as confirmed by Mr Dollface.
Overall, then, a good result from Asda: and a product I will definitely buy again!
